


m is for misusing a messaging app

by pensrcool



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Dialogue-Only, M/M, alcohol mention, loosely a college au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8359240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pensrcool/pseuds/pensrcool
Summary: LtMkilla: You know what we should be named? Fucking losers who have to figure out a goddamn schedule to hang out to play games because of work and school and shit.





	

**achievement hunter**

**LtMkilla** So just one question.

 **LtMkilla** Who the fuck named us achievement hunter and why are they so shitty at names?

 **ray :D** great question, user LtMkilla

 **LtMkilla** Whoa, I never said I was good at names. Just that someone else is apparently as shitty as me but still gets naming rights.

 **LtMkilla** You know what we should be named? Fucking losers who have to figure out a goddamn schedule to hang out to play games because of work and school and shit.

 **ray :D** dude that was my first choice too but there’s a 50 character limit

 **LtMkilla** Great minds, Ray. Great minds.

 **Gavino** I think it’s fine honestly

 **LtMkilla** You also think your face is fine, so excuse me for taking that with a grain of salt.

 **Gavino** Michael :(

 **ray :D** michael wants to kiss the shit out of your face so i don’t know why he’s complaining about it

 **LtMkilla** RAY.

 **ray :D** what

 **LtMkilla** No.

 **Gavino** :((

 **ray :D** shut the fuck up gavin you know people want to bang the shit out of your voice

 **Gavino** That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with my face!

 **ray :D** right. so what’s it like to be legally blind

 **Gavino** :(((

 **ray :D** i’d like to take this moment to float my second choice of a name out here: meme men

 **geoff** name was me.

 **LtMkilla** you know? I think this name is great. I think it grows on you. I think you did a great job, Geoff.

 **ray :D** so is that a no on meme men

 **JackP** Also me.

 **LtMkilla** It’s a shitty name, Pattillo.

 **JackP** Least you spelled pattillo right

 **LtMkilla** I did? Dammit. I was trying to mess it up.

 **ray :D** self gottem

 **ray :D** yo but where the fuck is ryan

 **ray :D** ryan vote for meme men

 **BMVagabond** I’m staying out of it. I’m a pacifist.

 **ray :D** bullshit you are. you’re an asshole. assholes are never pacifists

 **BMVagabond** That hurts.

 **ray :D** emotional damage is my specialty

 **LtMkilla** You say that like you’re capable of physical damage.

 **ray :D** emotional damage is my specialty because i got in a fist fight with a baby and lost

 **geoff** i regret meeting you guys.

 **JackP** Alright then.

 **geoff** except jack.

 **geoff** oh, hey. im playing halo at 7 on wednesday.

 **Gavino** AM or PM??

 **geoff** do you think im going to be playing at 7 in the goddamn morning.

 **geoff** when the fuck do you think?

 **Gavino** Nothing wrong with double checking

 **geoff** theres nothing wrong with double checking something youre not sure about. there is something wrong with being captain goddamn obvious.

 **geoff** im going to work. dont fucking change the name or die while im gone.

 **ray :D** you got it boss

 **ray :D** so he’s gone now right

ray :D changed the name to meme men

 **ray :D** spam the chat so he won’t see the notification when he gets back and won’t know who changed it

 **ray :D** WOW

 **ray :D** all of you are fake friends

 **geoff** did you think i couldnt use inductive reasoning to figure out you, the one who suggested the name, changed it.

 **ray :D** can’t talk sorry i’m in class the rest of my life

 

**Team Lads**

**Gavino** hello lads

 **LtMkilla** What the fuck is this.

 **Gavino** Lads chat, boi

 **ray :D** no but really what the fuck is this

 **Gavino** Did you know Geoff made a chat with just him and Jack and Ryan?

 **ray :D** yeah

 **LtMkilla** Yes?

 **Gavino** That doesn’t bother you?

 **ray :D** pretty sure it’s where they drop all their notes because they’re all taking the same fucking classes

 **Gavino** Why haven’t we done that?

 **ray :D** because i’ve taken notes twice in my life and michael only trusts himself and you have shitty handwriting

 **Gavino** Huh.

 **Gavino** Still. This is the lads chat. For lads. Which is better than the gents chat for gents

 **ray :D** i give it two hours before it’s dead

 

**Team Gents**

**geoff** so gavin knows this exists.

 **BMVagabond** Does he know it’s only active when you have a quiz you didn’t study for?

 **geoff** nah.

 **geoff** i told him all we do is complain about him. so if you could keep that illusion going thatd be awesome.

 **JackP** We live a much less glamorous reality of cramming and giving Ryan shit about Ray.

 **BMVagabond** Let’s not

 **geoff** didnt he borrow your jacket the other day

 **BMVagabond** …

 **JackP** doesn’t he still have your jacket because he said he liked it?

 **BMVagabond** no

 **geoff** for starters, youre a liar.

 **geoff** secondly, he gave you his jacket so youd have one to wear so now youre just wearing each others clothes.

 **geoff** thats some gay shit.

 **BMVagabond** So Gavin, right? Let’s talk about how awful Gavin is.

 **geoff** oh, ryan. buddy. plenty of time to do that after we embarrass you about ray.

 **BMVagabond** Are you sure? I feel like mocking Gavin is a very time consuming endeavor. I don’t want to risk having to skip it. There’s just so much to say.

 **geoff** are you ever actually gonna ask him out?

 **BMVagabond** I don’t remember appointing you as my romantic counsel.

 **geoff** i dont remember why i decided to talk to you but here we are.

 **geoff** im getting ready to drop the best dating advice youve ever fucking got into your lap for FREE.

 **geoff** and youre giving me shit about “not appointing me”.

 **geoff** are you a smarmy asshole with ray, too?

 **BMVagabond** Yes.

 **JackP** Except when you’re trying to inconspicuously fawn over him

 **BMVagabond** Can you both hurry up and find someone to like? The clock’s ticking. I really, really want the tables to turn already so I can make fun of you.

 **geoff** not a chance in hell. people fucking suck. im gonna die alone on my floor of alcohol poisoning and fucking be happy about it.

 **BMVagabond** Wow.

 **JackP** Jesus Christ Geoff

 **geoff** I SAID ILL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.

 **geoff** anyway.

 **geoff** just fucking ask him out on a loser nerd date. i guarantee hell say yes.

 **geoff** offer to buy him a burger or something.

 **geoff** but a romantic burger.

 **JackP** Because burgers are the classic first date.

 **geoff** jack, feel free to shut your goddamn mouth.

 **geoff** OH FUCK NO DONT DO THAT.

 **geoff** i mean yes, absolutely do that. its solid advice. but BEFORE you keep his scrawny ass fed you need to do something else.

 **geoff** whens your play?

 **geoff** the one that youre in and stressing over and im 95% sure you ran lines for with him.

 **geoff** you gotta get him to go, man.

 **geoff** and you gotta get him to come up to you after like ‘hey ryan i dont know anything about plays but you did good’ and then you have to say ‘thanks for coming’ and dip him while you lay one on him.

 **geoff** are you any good at dipping?

 **geoff** did ryan leave.

 **geoff** dont think that means you get out of getting my goddamn stellar advice, ryan.

 **geoff** ask that fucker out.

 

**if ray touches the name again he’s dead**

**LtMkilla** grabin’s drunk texting people. Messaging. Same fucking thing

 **Gavino** michael’s drunk tattling

 **LtMkilla** i’m gonna drunk punch your goddamn lights out in a minute

 **Gavino** you will NOT

 **ray :D** drunk texting tattling and punching. you covered 3 out of 4 drunk bases. when are you gonna drunk make out?

 **ray :D** lemme know so i can catch a bus over there and record it for new jerk off material

 **geoff** how bout you two drunkenly shut the fuck up?

 **Gavino** geoffrey why

 **LtMkilla** geoff i’m fucking babysitting your kid

 **LtMkilla** I’m making sure he doesn’t fall down some stairs or something cause uh I wouldn’t put it past him

 **Gavino** I could jump over my own leg right now completely fine

 **LtMkilla** not true!

 **LtMkilla** he’s actually fucking trying hold on gotta keep him from breaking his head

 **BMVagabond** True love.

 **ray :D** hey michael make sure you use protection man i don’t wanna see you have to drop out of college to take care of you and gavin’s baby

 **JackP** Should someone go over there and check on them?

 **geoff** absolutely not.

 **LtMkilla** gGGGgfggggggggggggggggggGGHh

 **BMVagabond**?

 **LtMkilla** Gav tried to wrestle my phone away from me so he could-I actually don’t know what he was trying to accomplish but he fucking failed.

 **Gavino** typing

 **Gavino** was gonna type some stuff as you and it was going to be funny

 **geoff** im sure it was, buddy.

 **LtMkilla** Stop inflicting your drunk ass on people.

 **Gavino** you love it

 **ray :D** michael loves gavin’s drunk ass confirmed

 **ray :D** which is fucking shocking considering he also loves sober gavin’s ass

 **Gavino** does he really?

 **LtMkilla** You’re an egotistical fuck.

 **Gavino** But does he? michael how do you feel about my arse on a day to day basis

 **Gavino** michael mikey jones

 **Gavino** tell me

 **LtMkilla** Why are you still messaging me when you’re literally sitting in my goddamn lap and showing me everything you type before you send it.

 **Gavino** Why are you responding?

 **ray :D** i mean

 **ray :D** solid point

 **ray :D** so should the rest of us leave before the heartfelt alcohol based confessions or

 **LtMkilla** He stumbled off to take a piss and I’m gonna shove him into bed when he gets back. Don’t worry about it

 **ray :D** didn’t know shoving people into beds was something you were into

 **ray :D** pretty standard kink though. i’ll allow it

 **LtMkilla** Goodnight, Ray.

 **ray :D** night michael don’t let the bedbugs bite or the gavins kick

 

**a-meme-men-t hunter**

**LtMkilla** Sorry about missing your play, Ryan. If it makes you feel better, I’ll definitely show up and mooch off of you when you’re about to head to the Oscars. Also will actually show up to next Friday’s showing when work isn’t fucking my mouth.

 **geoff** it was a good show.

 **Gavino** I always thought Ryan was the weird techie crew who did lights and all that, but he was the damn lead

 **BMVagabond** I was, indeed, the damn lead. Thanks. To Michael and Geoff and Gavin too, I guess?

 **Gavino** Welcome

 **JackP** ditto about making next friday. Really sorry about that

 **BMVagabond** Totally fine. Hope you think your student discounted ticket is worth it.

 **ray :D** dude i’d pay ten dollars to see it again

 **geoff** gee, really? wonder why that is.

 **ray :D** it’s a good fucking play geoff

 **ray :D** it was an enjoyable experience and i feel very cultured because of it

 **ray :D** i was told someone would break a leg but no one did so it was disappointing on that front but besides that it was cool

 **ray :D** also ryan turned bright red and started stuttering when i gave him congratulations flowers which was a big bonus it was funny as hell

 **geoff** and?

 **ray :D** and what

 **geoff** what else happened, idiot?

 **ray :D** we all got food

 **geoff** what happened AT THE THEATER after the play

 **ray :D** we clapped and everybody bowed

 **geoff** WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU AND RYAN.

 **ray :D** i just told you i gave him flowers and he shut down because he’s a humble fuck

 **BMVagabond** Sounds like an accurate summation to me.

 **geoff** you have lost the privilege of my advice.

 **BMVagabond** I mean, it doesn’t seem like I need it anymore. I have a boyfriend. I don’t really need you to tell me how to ask people out now.

 **ray :D** did you just call me your boyfriend? gay

 **BMVagabond** Oh, man. This is awkward. I was referring to a different guy I’m going out with. The one that Geoff talked me through getting with.

 **ray :D** ryan what the fuck you’re cheating on me

 **ray :D** that makes me your worthless side piece

 **ray :D** pay me in the mcdonald’s dollar menu or i spill to your real boyfriend

 **BMVagabond** Hm. I don’t know. Seems like a kinda steep asking price.

 **ray :D** dude if i’m secure in anything it’s the fact i’m worth one ninety nine cent burger

 **JackP** One 99 cent burger.

 **LtMkilla** He’s got you there.

 **ray :D** thanks for always having my back when it matters, michael

 **LtMkilla** You know it.

 **Gavino** How come Michael always stands up for Ray and not me?

 **LtMkilla** Shut the fuck up.

 **geoff** shut the fuck up.

 **ray :D** walk into traffic

 **BMVagabond** That does seem like a bit of a stretch, Gavin…

 **LtMkilla** I stick up for you all the fucking time, asshole.

 **LtMkilla** If you’re saying you want me to call you a worthless piece of shit more often like I do with Ray, I can do that.

 **ray :D** pretty sure that’s what he means

 **Gavino** When are you going to be lovely Michael again?

 **Gavino** Where’s my lovely little boi, Michael

 **LtMkilla** You killed him.

 **BMVagabond** You know, out of all of us, I never expected Gavin to be the murderer.

 **geoff** right? i was betting on you.

 **LtMkilla** So was I.

 **ray :D** same

 **JackP** Yeah

 **Gavin** I mean we all thought that

 **BMVagabond** Are you kidding me?

 **BMVagabond** What about me strikes every single one of you as murderer-y?

 **ray :D** you got vibes man

 **Gavino** So many murderer vibes

 **Gavino** The kind of vibes that say I want to stab someone so bad

 **LtMkilla** You just look like the kind of guy who buys an AK47 one day.

 **geoff** its true.

 **BMVagabond** What the fuck.

 **ray :D** it was the knife throwing for me

 **JackP** The knife throwing is pretty weird and suggestive

 **BMVagabond** How does knowing how to throw knives suggest I’m a murderer?

 **ray :D** be honest, ryan. how many non murderers do you know who can throw knives

 **BMVagabond** A lot more than the number of knife throwing murderers I know?

 **LtMkilla** He said be honest, Ryan.

 **geoff** i dont get why youre so offended.

 **geoff** you know wed bury bodies for you.

 **geoff** except gavin.

 **Gavino** But I wouldn’t testify against you

 **geoff** but he wouldnt testify against you, which is a big thing for him.

 **Gavino** It is

 **JackP** It’s what friends do

 **BMVagabond** That’s great, but I haven’t killed anyone.

 **geoff** right. exactly.

 **ray :D** always go for plausible deniability dude. always


End file.
